Category Archives: Hedonism

Loomed Anniversary

I don’t think I could have wished for a nicer day. I just got back from a fireworks display at the amusement park after spending a good few hours there on the day that was just enough to ask for for this time of year. Sunny and pleasant all day. A nice retribution for yesterday when I got literally soaking wet on a cycling trip.

The day went as planned. Some light computer gametry and coffee in the morning. Day at the amusement park. Retiring home for a pizza in the evening. Catching a fireworks display at night. There’s still some pizza left and a spot of heavy cider in the fridge.

It is shame that the supposed humans I know are such a bunch of pussies…

My Ideal Woman

My ideal woman doesn’t work in a traditional woman’s job. She will be a black smith or a police, alternatively she will run a business of her own with the huge inheritance she has received from her “grandparents”. She practices at least one martial art and she’s keen to experiment with her physical abilities. She’d be glad to try new things (such as parkour) and approaches them with intrigue and patience.

She will be quite tall and as the result of her self-confidence, she won’t wear high-heels and although she rarely does wear one, she looks absolutely smashing in a suit. Her silhouette is classic, akin to Joely Richardson, otherwise her looks bare a striking resemblance to Rachael Stirling. On her face she has a small scar, partly crossing her upper lip. She received the scar when a mountain lion attacked her on a hiking trip. Her bra size is a D but on occasion, depending on the manufacturer, she’s resorted to a bigger size. She keeps her hair short and has, at least on one occasion, shaven her head completely, a feat she can get away with with her bone structure.

She understands that that which makes female legs interesting is the calf and is appreciative in displaying them. Her favourite way to do so is to sit in the morning sun, infront of a french window, sipping coffee, reading Donald Duck’s pocketbook, wearing cargo-pants, with her other leg lifted up on the arm rest of my favourite chair, where she is sitting.

Her only physical characteristic that might not strike as perfect is her slightly proportionately large feet.

Her approach to computers is pragmatic, she has ascended at least two characters in Nethack and is working on her pacifist-ascension. She has produced at least one patch to Nethack “because it was the only way to have a ferret as a pet”.

Her personal conduct is slightly frivolous, her signs of affection can be surprising and bordering on lewd. Her sexual conduct is omitted from this entry apart from her being a willing proponent of pegging.

She is immortal. In this timeline one of her names has been Ada Lovelace. When all is said and done and it’s her time to try out a new one, she will share the gift of immortality with me and will also reveal the location of an ancient timemachine. All thanks to my performance as a Man.

Ideas For Future or Present Time Travellers Who Lack Imagination

It was exactly a year ago that I set my foot in Helsinki. This and the New Year (of which, I wish Happy for my readership) has prompted me to write some words of advice and inspiritation for any future or present time travellers.

Before anything else, a few words on building a time machine. First of all, your time machine will need to accommodate for travelling between parallel universes. If it doesn’t, your enjoyment and options are severely limited. If you have only one universe and you go back in time in it, you have changed it forever (from the moment you entered the past). You can’t go back in to the future and return to the set-up that you left. This is a consequence of the butterfly effect in practice and the further back in time you go, the more the moment you left from, will have changed if you are to return to it.

People make mistakes and this kind of situation is not a favourable one for a time traveller. What you want is the ability to change from parallel universes (of which there are practically an unlimited number of identical ones with this one) to another. This means that you can return to the point in time where you left and have it appear (in any conceivable way) identical to the one you left, regardless of what happened in the past.

Once you’ve built your time machine or modified your existing one to accommodate this feature, we are free to explore the fun stuff you can do with it! There are other things that might be beneficial for a time traveller, such as immortality or the ability to make a back-up of yourself, but I won’t go into them here.

1. Seduce a celebrity

Most celebrities are normal people before they became celebrities. With the knowledge you’ve learned about them during their public career, you can go back in time when they still weren’t famous and seduce them using that information!

2. Obtain unbeforeseen-works from your favourite artist.

Thanks to the butterfly effect, you can go back in time to a suitable moment and make any change in it, really, appearing there is enough of a change. Your favourite artist will live in a different universe than the one where you originated from and will produce works of art that differ from the ones you know. They might show similarities with the one’s you’re familiar with, but it’s practically impossible for them to be exactly the same than in your original universe. Subsequently, this is pretty much what KSAI offers as well.

3. Get rich

Pretty much the standard thing to do. Lottery won’t do it, thanks again to the butterfly effect but buying the right stock would almost definetely work. Locating lost treasures, works or art works as well.

4. Make sure that Babbage gots his act together.

Is going to have gotten? I don’t know, but Steampunky world is too romantic to ignore. Steam-powered mechanical computers? Come on!

5. Live the perfect day/week/month/year over and over again.

This is the Groundhog Day -method. It’s your payday, first vacation-day, your SO is running hot, the weather is beautiful, whatever the circumstances are that make a perfect day, you can rewind and have another go. There won’t be any surprises though, so my take would be to concentrate on satisfying basic needs. The longer the time you spend reliving the higher the possibility of something unexpected happening.

Of course there are plenty of other choices, but these are those that tickle my fancy the most. I didn’t get into the ethics of these situations or time travel in general since it probably makes a boring post, but you are free to engage in that discussion in the comments! If there are any time travellers reading this, it would be nice to get a ‘hi!’ from them. No posers!

Blessed Are Thy G-Forces

I took it as my liberty to spend a day at a local amusement park. As usual, inspite of my minor efforts to hire people to join me in merriment, I was forced to enjoy by myself. It was smaller a hindrance to pleasure than I thought. Granted, it would have been probably a few ounces more enjoyably with a good friend with a similar outlook in enjoyment (it begins with a fear of death). I just have to admit I’m just not charming enough. The day was warm (borderline hot) and this being a weekday in June, the place only had short queues. The place was filled with happy, young people, and it all made me a bit nostalgic.

The rides didn’t make that much of a impression, but there was enough of gut-wrenching -sensation to feel pleased. The amusement park in question is located on a narrow cape, and all the rollercoasters are limited on a small space, in turn limiting the speed and g-forces of the rides. In fact, one of the new rides, where you lie down on your stomach, face down, was quite uncomfortable due to this restriction in space. It was all sharp turns after another.