To my complete expectations my Summer vacation has just started. Five weeks of non-work-related activities are in store. Which means I’ll be available for all kinds of suggestions and invitations of non-work-related nature. Be proactive, don’t let me invite myself over!
Who Watches the Watchmen? I did.
May 20th, 2009Sorry about the kind of lame Title, you don’t come here for the quality articles do you? You come here for the sex, admit it!
Some SPOILER warning is probably in order. I went to see Watchmen today. It is customary to complain when talking about Comic -> Film -interpretation and the sci-fist in me was deeply disappointed for changing the endlösnung. I understand the reasons doing it, I just don’t agree with them. There were some silly pop-culture references (Leonard Cohen’s “First we take Manhattan” playing during the end credits), reference to an old (untrue) anecdote of Neil Armstrong saying “Good Luck Mr. Gorsky!” on the fucking moon!
Rorschach’s character was recognizable, which was nice, although his defining moment was changed into something more dramatic. I don’t think Rorschach was the kind of person that would lose his cool. I also think that he was more cunning than good at kicking ass. The gore-factor was raised which was probably unnecessary.
Dr. Manhattan sounded exactly like you’d imagine. HIS defining moment is one of the most well-printed images in my mind. Goatse has nothing on “The light is taking me to pieces”. The film is bland in comparison.
Her name is Apollonia Vanova.
This blog turns seven years today. Anyone up for a drink tomorrow to celebrate? On me?
Benefits of Keeping Your Eyes Open
April 18th, 2009This week I visited the local library on a whim. On my way out I happened to glance at a poster they had stuck on the door. This is nothing special, there’s always something to spam about. But this poster caught my eyes. They had a guest coming today, a real live astrofuckingnaut, Harrison “Jack” Schmitt, the last man to set his foot on the moon (he was second to last to leave Moon)!
He gave a small presentation about his the Apollo 17 mission he was on with, about his role as a trained field geologist. There weren’t that many interesting revelations, I was expecting a bit more on looking into the future, but the few comments (e.g. it would take a nation about 10 years to get back to moon, a private enterprise might make there in 15. The most likely nations to get there are US, Russia and China ) didn’t really reveal anything special, although he told all kinds of interesting things about their mission. Apparently the fastest way to move of foot on Moon is hopping from one foot to the other. Schmitt, with his mission mate Eugene Cernan hold the speed record on Moon, 18 km/h, downhill on the Moon rover.
There were the possibility of taking your picture with him, but I saw there were far too many, more eager people have one too, so I passed the opportunity. It was a shame he didn’t have any Nasa caps to share…
“That’s OK, we make new ones”
March 18th, 2009Way back in the 90’s a somewhat renowned Finnish sci-fi author and comics writer Johanna Sinisalo visited my local library as a guest for the local Friend’s of the Library Association. The visit was informal with around ten people present. She told us among other things about her career, telling us that she nearly graduated from something, missing only her thesis work and I remember thinking that that doesn’t count and I still agree…
She told also about her views on sci-fi and how she felt that it’s not supposed to foretell future, but to tell something about this day and age by projecting things somewhere else. She also said something I fehemently disagree with, if I remember correctly, that sci-fi’s role is not to entertain first but to ’say something’. My memory faulters and that’s the clearest I can put it. In my mind the purpose of all art is first and foremost to entertain and if you disagree, I’m sorry you have such a narrow view of entertainment.
Johanna Sinisalo has wrote what I think is the best Finnish sci-fi short story called “Suklaalaput”. It is a story of a generational spaceship with a carefully crafted and balanced economy/production/economy system and how it crumbles when tokens for chocolate-rations are introduced (hence the name). Since not everybody enjoyes chocolate as much as everyone else, those tokens have value, and thus become the local currency. I didn’t have the guts to confess my admiration in that meeting, even though it was informal and quite intimate. Sometime around then a friend of mine described her looks saying “she looks like a feminist”. That should net him a few hundred years in the purgatory.
I had a second chance when she published her first novel and was giving an interview in an art festival. I didn’t have the guts then either. Her novel went on to win the most prestigious literary award in Finland, the Finlandia Prize. I could have bought the first edition and gotten a dedication for it too…
Johanna Sinisalo is one of the nominees for this years Nebula Award with her novelette “Baby Doll”.
My Ideal Woman
March 8th, 2009My ideal woman doesn’t work in a traditional woman’s job. She will be a black smith or a police, alternatively she will run a business of her own with the huge inheritance she has received from her “grandparents”. She practices at least one martial art and she’s keen to experiment with her physical abilities. She’d be glad to try new things (such as parkour) and approaches them with intrigue and patience.
She will be quite tall and as the result of her self-confidence, she won’t wear high-heels and although she rarely does wear one, she looks absolutely smashing in a suit. Her silhouette is classic, akin to Joely Richardson, otherwise her looks bare a striking resemblance to Rachael Stirling. On her face she has a small scar, partly crossing her upper lip. She received the scar when a mountain lion attacked her on a hiking trip. Her bra size is a D but on occasion, depending on the manufacturer, she’s resorted to a bigger size. She keeps her hair short and has, at least on one occasion, shaven her head completely, a feat she can get away with with her bone structure.
She understands that that which makes female legs interesting is the calf and is appreciative in displaying them. Her favourite way to do so is to sit in the morning sun, infront of a french window, sipping coffee, reading Donald Duck’s pocketbook, wearing cargo-pants, with her other leg lifted up on the arm rest of my favourite chair, where she is sitting.
Her only physical characteristic that might not strike as perfect is her slightly proportionately large feet.
Her approach to computers is pragmatic, she has ascended at least two characters in Nethack and is working on her pacifist-ascension. She has produced at least one patch to Nethack “because it was the only way to have a ferret as a pet”.
Her personal conduct is slightly frivolous, her signs of affection can be surprising and bordering on lewd. Her sexual conduct is omitted from this entry apart from her being a willing proponent of pegging.
She is immortal. In this timeline one of her names has been Ada Lovelace. When all is said and done and it’s her time to try out a new one, she will share the gift of immortality with me and will also reveal the location of an ancient timemachine. All thanks to my performance as a Man.
It’s Called Football for a Reason
January 25th, 2009I underestimated the amount of food I’d require today so at one point I found myself hungry. I proceeded to make my way to the pub around the corner (literally) to get some pizza. As is often the case in these establishments, they were showing football on the television.
As I waited for my order to arrive, this display brought back some memories from when I used to play football myself. This might come as a surprise to people, including me, who are aware of my lack of interest in football. It was one of those things that your parents dragged you into (literally). I have no bad memories of my experience in the field, just a certain feeling of confusion. I never really knew the rules that well, or who against we were playing. I don’t even remember why I quit playing. I don’t remember the coaches or anything they ever said so I guess I sort of slipped through the fingers. A few distinct pieces of memory are stuck in my mind.
I remember when I started, we were given proper jersies with our numbers and teamname printed on them. At some point they were replaced and we were given rather thin shirts instead. I remember one late-summer day, riding my bike home, in the pouring rain, with that thin shirt cold against my skin. At the beginning of one game, I started on the bench and was substituted to the field at some point. As I ran to the field, I passed my substitutee and we promptly exchanged mid-fives. I remember this because it sort of hit to me after that thats what you’re supposed to do that in that situation and the other person responded correctly!
In one game I remember getting some kind of huge inspiration and ran after the ball like crazy! At some point I tripped somewhere and was quite disappointed when nothing came out of it. I was hurt! We never practiced any tricks, just played. That was a slight disappointment.
Even with premium football experience like this, it took me some 20+ years to understand what an off-side is.
The Prize For the Development of Kimmo Strong Artificial Intelligence
January 9th, 2009I am introducing a prize for the succesful development of a Kimmo Strong Artificial Intelligence. This prize will go to the individual or individuals or an organization, be it for-profit or not-for-profit, who produce an Artificial Intelligence that satisfy the requirements for an Kimmo Strong Artificial Intelligence:
“When presented with (whatever means possible) Carl Barks’ whole production of Donald Duck comics, the AI can produce an (practically) infinite number of comics which, in no discernible way, differ in style or quality from any selected one of those by Carl Barks.”
Choosing the recipient of the prize is left entirely at the discretion of me (Kimmo Savolainen). The prize money for winning is at the moment of posting 10€, subject to increase in the future.
Ideas For Future or Present Time Travellers Who Lack Imagination
January 4th, 2009It was exactly a year ago that I set my foot in Helsinki. This and the New Year (of which, I wish Happy for my readership) has prompted me to write some words of advice and inspiritation for any future or present time travellers.
Before anything else, a few words on building a time machine. First of all, your time machine will need to accommodate for travelling between parallel universes. If it doesn’t, your enjoyment and options are severely limited. If you have only one universe and you go back in time in it, you have changed it forever (from the moment you entered the past). You can’t go back in to the future and return to the set-up that you left. This is a consequence of the butterfly effect in practice and the further back in time you go, the more the moment you left from, will have changed if you are to return to it.
People make mistakes and this kind of situation is not a favourable one for a time traveller. What you want is the ability to change from parallel universes (of which there are practically an unlimited number of identical ones with this one) to another. This means that you can return to the point in time where you left and have it appear (in any conceivable way) identical to the one you left, regardless of what happened in the past.
Once you’ve built your time machine or modified your existing one to accommodate this feature, we are free to explore the fun stuff you can do with it! There are other things that might be beneficial for a time traveller, such as immortality or the ability to make a back-up of yourself, but I won’t go into them here.
1. Seduce a celebrity
Most celebrities are normal people before they became celebrities. With the knowledge you’ve learned about them during their public career, you can go back in time when they still weren’t famous and seduce them using that information!
2. Obtain unbeforeseen-works from your favourite artist.
Thanks to the butterfly effect, you can go back in time to a suitable moment and make any change in it, really, appearing there is enough of a change. Your favourite artist will live in a different universe than the one where you originated from and will produce works of art that differ from the ones you know. They might show similarities with the one’s you’re familiar with, but it’s practically impossible for them to be exactly the same than in your original universe. Subsequently, this is pretty much what KSAI offers as well.
3. Get rich
Pretty much the standard thing to do. Lottery won’t do it, thanks again to the butterfly effect but buying the right stock would almost definetely work. Locating lost treasures, works or art works as well.
4. Make sure that Babbage gots his act together.
Is going to have gotten? I don’t know, but Steampunky world is too romantic to ignore. Steam-powered mechanical computers? Come on!
5. Live the perfect day/week/month/year over and over again.
This is the Groundhog Day -method. It’s your payday, first vacation-day, your SO is running hot, the weather is beautiful, whatever the circumstances are that make a perfect day, you can rewind and have another go. There won’t be any surprises though, so my take would be to concentrate on satisfying basic needs. The longer the time you spend reliving the higher the possibility of something unexpected happening.
Of course there are plenty of other choices, but these are those that tickle my fancy the most. I didn’t get into the ethics of these situations or time travel in general since it probably makes a boring post, but you are free to engage in that discussion in the comments! If there are any time travellers reading this, it would be nice to get a ‘hi!’ from them. No posers!